Having fun with children - 10 cheapskate mum's ways!

Here are some of the things I've done with my kid (and borrowed kids) for the past two weeks (besides playing online games):

1. Reading aloud. Choose interesting books where our intonation and gestures can be varied while reading, as well as books that have a lot of interesting pictures that can lead into chats or discussions with the children. Some of the books that I love are ' Good Night, Gorilla' by Peggy Rathmann, 'I Love My Family' by Brimax, and 'The Napping House' by Audrey Wood, just to name a few. For a Malay book, 'Kuda Terbang Reza' by Halimah Badioze Zaman has proven to be very entertaining to children over and over again.

2. Finger painting. All we need are some pieces of white paper and poster colours. The rest are up to our creativity or the children's. They really love this activity. To avoid messing up your house or dirtying their clothes, do this outside your house i.e. at the porch on a mat, and cut some of those unused garbage plastic bags for the kids to wear outside their clothes.

3. Gardening. Mine wasn't any real gardening though. It was just the repotting of some plants. I bought a few bags of soil, uprooted some plants from the original pots, and planted them in bigger pots. The children loved helping me out, especially when they got to touch the soils, and to water the newly potted plants.

4. Vacuuming the floor. I don't know what is it that attracts the children to this machine. I used to think that they are a nuisance when it comes to me wanting to vacuum the floor and them wanting to help so hard. Nowadays, I would just let them do it until they are tired, then I would continue, but I would be careful about vacuuming again the spots that they had vacuumed - it's like saying, "You didn't do a good job." Be sensitive - kids have feelings, too.

5. Washing the dishes. Children love this! They get the feeling of being trusted by an adult (with all the breakable glasswares), being 'useful' and at the same time get a chance to play with water!

6. Train 'joy' riding. I parked my car at the commuter station in Bangi. No, we didn't actually steal anything here. Bought a return ticket to Nilai and there we went - on a train to and fro. You can actually go to a further station than the one you paid for, provided that you don't check out from the station. Neat! I think it would be more fun if we rode to KL Sentral instead, but I didn't want to spend too much time on the train.

7. Playground hopping. We went to one playground after another in the different parts or sections in our townships. Basically, they have the same things, like the see-saw, the swingset, the slides - but they come in different designs, and each park where the playground is set in, has a different environment. Oh, what a fun time we had!

8. Eating out. In my township, there's a bakery called 'Zaty's Bakery' which is a hit with any children I've taken there. They are spoiled with the choices of bread and danish they can have, plus they love the 'ice-cream goreng' (fried ice-cream) there. A good way to make non-eating child like mine eat! The bread are all less than RM2 each and the fried ice-cream is RM1.50 each.

9. "Tengok wayang" (watching movies). All we need are a DVD player and our TV set. Then, just put in the CD and relax with the kids.' My kids' love Sinchan, Tom and Jerry, and Mr Bean (the animated series) the most. Other hits are Toy Story, as well as Space Chimps.

10. Going to "pasar malam" (night market). Great choices of food for individual kids and a chance to buy some balloons. The handcrafted ones are sold at RM1.50 each at the night market in my housing area.

Kesal

Selalunya kalau orang tanya, pernah tak aku menyesal kerana tinggalkan kerja sebagai guru sekolah dulu, aku akan jawab "tidak", kerana aku seronok menerokai pelbagai pengalaman baru semenjak meninggalkan "bangku cikgu sekolah". Mengajar di kolej atau di universiti juga kepuasannya berbeza sedikit - lebih banyak kemudahan dan kurang kekangan untuk berkreatif dalam kelas berbanding di sekolah.

Tapi di saat-saat begini, ketika anak-anak terpaksa kutinggalkan sendirian di rumah sempena cuti sekolah yang mana tak kena pula dengan cutiku... terdetik juga sekelumit rasa kesal... Masa aku meletak jawatan dulu, anak baru seorang dan masih kecil pula. Bila ditanya ibuku, "Tak sayang ke cuti panjang yang ada tu?", kubilang aku tak betah bercuti lama-lama, bisa mati kebosanan aku di rumah. Balas ibuku, "Esok bila anak dah besar, dan waktu cuti sekolah... baru nak menyesal." Dan benarlah apa yang dikatanya...

Nasib baiklah aku suka berkali2 suka kerjaku sekarang berbanding di sekolah dulu. Maka tidaklah aku sampai rasa terkilan atau rasa tersilap membuat keputusan.

Sweet memory

Found this in Ummiku Sayang archives - what a fuss breastfeeding was, yet I would give birth again just to experience it again.

** From Ummiku-Sayang Yahoogroup Archives **

Dear Ummis,

Thanks for all the congratulatory notes I got from Aidu, Intan, Hani, Ummihafiz (Yati?) and Norliza. Do I miss anybody?

I've been back at work for two weeks and am trying to continue giving breastmilk to Naufal. During Irsyad's time I didn't do it since I was teaching half-day and school's staffroom do not have the convenience of a refrigerator. Now, since I work 8-5 I try hard to continue supplying my breastmilk to Naufal eventhough I am away at work.

I've tried the manual pumping only to find out that it takes such a long time to produce not so much milk. I've bought the cheapest battery-operated breastpump by Care for RM120 stg, which is better in the sense that it cuts down half the time and able to extract more milk, sometimes up to 5 oz in 20 minutes. However sometimes it's painful and it uses a lot of batteries. The Energizer AA batteries can only be used for pumping twice and they are already weak by the third time I try to pump out my milk in the day. That means I have to spend like RM5.50 per day to change those 2 AA batteries. Some friends recommend the AVENT ISIS pump. I reckon that it's a bit expensive for me but I have read some good comments on it on the net and I thot I'll give it a shot. Anyone here has regretted buying it?

Hope you can tell me before I spend my next salary on it!

Secondly about this milking at work thingy is that people ard me have not been that encouraging sometimes. Mom has been nagging that I should have started feeding my son's formula even during my confinement period so that it won't be hard for me when I go back to work. Sister has been a kinda spokeperson for Similac IQ. She gives her daughter this brand of milk since Day 4 or so and d lil' gal is developing very fast that she's already turned ard on her tummy since 3-month old. So she's kinda promoting the formula and puts down my own milk, saying things like my milk causes him to have colics and not that nutritious since it doesn't look as thick as the formula and so on.

At work it's quite tiring to sneak out to express my milk too. I have to find a place that enables me to extract the milk in discreet. Since I'm not the boss, I don't have the luxury of having a room for myself. Now, students are in their sem break so sometimes I'm able to go to one of the empty classrooms and do the job there. Even that, there would be ppl who need to enter the c/room and would be knocking and trying to turn the knobs and causing me to become agitated.

Toilets are limited and shared by so many people, males and females, so besides being unhygienic, people will be very irritated should I spend 15-20 minutes inside. And I'll be carrying my little pail with bottles and hot water inside here and there to look for places. Then after it's done I'll be carrying the filled bottle to the staffroom's refrigerator. Some colleagues have already asked "until when will this have to go on?". It sounds just like a disapproval to me. I just can't imagine once classes commence and I have to rush milking in between classes and preparing for classes. It certainly would be exhausting for me to juggle everything.

It'll be easy to consider it to quit but then I'm all into breastfeeding. I am aware of all the benefits that both the baby and I will get out of it, and the most important thing is I love doing it. I love having the baby in my arms and the bond that you feel when he's feeding from your breast is priceless. Providing him with the breast milk, though I'm away makes me feel like I am actually there for him, and that's cure my working mom's guilt feeling syndrome. Furthermore, when we really think of it, the babies have only a short time of their life to be breastfed by their mommies. Irsyad had my breastmilk only for 6 months due to some technical errors and my inexperience as a new mother, and I do not want to make the same mistake with Naufal. Sometimes I wonder whether I should take a long break from work to provide Naufal with exclusive breastfeeding, but the fact that the family do need my contribution of salary and Irsyad starting primary school in Jan., wipe out all thoughts of it. Hah... so much easier to be a working father than a working mother!

I would be interested to read what others' experience has been. Has anybody here been successful continuing breastfeeding and working at the same time? Thank you in advance.

Wassallam,
Mima
_________________
UmmikuSayang.com
"Celebrating Motherhood, the Islamic Way"

Advance nye anak aku...

Part 1:

Kawan2 Irsyad datang rumah. Irsyad baru nak makan nasi. Lauk tom yam. Kawan2nya pun teringin lalu tumpang sekaki.

Anip: Heh... hah... heh (kepedasan)

Irsyad: Apalah ko ni Anip. Macam orang berzina je...

Aku: (terperanjat) Irsyad! Apa cakap macam tu ha? (??? mana anak aku tau bab bunyi2 ni ye??)


Part 2:

Terdengar percakapan Irsyad dan Nurul, sepupunya yg masih dalam darjah 1:

Irsyad: Nurul, Nurul belum sembahyang Maghrib lagi kan?

Nurul: Nurul tak sembahyang. Nurul cuti.

Irsyad: Eh...jangan nak menipu. Nurul mana boleh cuti. Yang boleh cuti tu cuma orang yang dah besar macam mama (merujuk ibu Nurul), yang dah keluar air mani.

Aku: ??? (Perempuan keluar air mani? ha ha..(kelakar) Alamak, mana anak aku tau semua ni...(risau)) :P


Setelah di wawancara beberapa hari kemudian, Irsyad kata dia belajar di sekolah tahfiznya. Tapi yg lebih2 sampai bunyi semua tu dari kawan2... Hai la budak sekarang... advancenya. Mak nye dulu sampai dah form five belajar bab proses persenyawaan tu pun blur lagi dari mana datangnya sperm yang bercantum dengan ovum...

I've just joined an online support group for stay-at-home mums today and introduced myself this way:

I'm a new member, Mima. At present, I am teaching full-time from Mon to Saturday 8.30 - 5 pm but am toying with the idea of quitting to pay attention to my 2 boys.

Irsyad is the elder one. 8yo, he's going to be in Yr3 the next schooling session. He goes to the religious school in the morning and the national school in the afternoon. In between, he will transit at the religious school. When he was in Yr1, I had a shock of my life when a mother called me to tell that he has been asking for his son's pocket money on daily basis for quite some time. My son is a very thin boy and he's not too tall either. It had never occured to me that he could be a school bully. That day was one of very few times that I caned him, and I did it really hard.

That problem settled, at the end of the year he gave me another shock. I was wondering why I did not get his report book for the final exam. It turned out that he actually had kept it for quite some time and when I checked, the parent's signature cell has already been filled up with a childish imitation of my signature. My 7yo son, already forging people's signature!! I was so mad and shocked that I instantly slapped his face left and right, left and right!
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a child abuser. I don't normally hit my children, but those two events were really testing my patience.

I'm also worried that my son is not doing well in his school subjects since I don't really have the time to sit with him and go through his school work. I totally leave him to deal with them personally. He did have a few proud times, when he showed me that he scored 100 marks for Science, or 98 for Maths, but he's a bit weak in the language subjects like BM and English, scoring normally below 80s. There were times when I would suddenly asked him to show me his workbooks and exercise books, only to see that they are horrible looking (look as shabby like 10yo books) and with a lot of question marks inside with teacher's comments like "Siapkan!". I feel so sad and unworthy as a mom.

You see, I'm staying in a new township, very near Nilai and there's no school here. During schooling sessions, every morning, I would drive to Bandar Baru Bangi to send Irsyad to his religious school. Then, I would send my then "baby" to my aunt in Seri Kembangan, and after that only I go to Cyberjaya to work. After work, the reverse happened, from CJ I'd go to SK to pick up baby, then to BBB to pick up Irsyad's from his national school (when school ends at 6.30pm), then picked up his bags from the religious school and we'd reach home ard 7.45pm. For days when Irsyad's school ends at 6.00 pm, I'd take him first, then go back to SK to pick the baby, we'd reach there normally at 7 and wd end up reaching home at 8pm. By then I would be very tired, I would just buy "tapau" food, feed my two sons, and prepare them for bed. Coz both my younger son and I have sinus, I would at times clean the house at night, vacuuming and mopping the floor and ended up sleeping late.

My younger son, Naufal, is 2yo now. And he has always been sick from the day he was born. The first week of his life, he had the yellow fever. When he was one month old, he has already started having very high fever. Then every month he would be having fever due to immunisation. Teething would be the worst, coz he would have 4 teeth coming out at the same time every time. At 4mo, he had already have 4 teeth, at 8mo, 8 teeth and at 1yo, 12 teeth.

I initially sent him to my sister's maid (staying in the same township) to take care, but at 10 mo, he had pus coming out from both his ears. I took him to the nearby doctor, he said it's common, I didn't have to worry, gave my son antibiotic and the pus stopped. As soon as baby finished the antibio, the pus came out again. I took him to the same dr, and this time, he prescribed a diff antibio, baby took it, and the pus stopped. Right after the antibio finished, the pus came out again. This time, I took him to ENT specialist, with his treatment, it stopped but we had to take him to follow-up checks weekly for few months, because it appeared that both his eardrums were perforated. After few months of checking, the right eardrum which had few small holes, grew and closed itself again, but the left one which had 1 big hole, stays that way (even now). He still has 70% of his hearing though, and it seems that now he's beginning to talk so that's a relief for me.

So after that, Dr. advised me to get him away from any kind of pools, sea or streams - my son can never swim because we can't take the risk of having water getting into his ears. He has to have cotton covering his ears at every bath. That's when, I decided to send him to my aunt to take care. It's a bit far, but I knew she would take a really good care of my son.

However, I guess because Naufal is a weak child, he couldn't take the daily travels. He kept having fever monthly. In April this year on a Sunday, the fever was so high, I guess more than 40 degrees. I was taking care of him, then my mum came, and I left him for a while to serve some drinks to my mum when suddenly he had febrile fits. It was a scary experience. When it stopped, we took him to the nearest clinic which was opened, and the dr. referred him to the Putrajaya Hospital. His fever was a yo yo, and it wasn't until another Sunday before he and I were allowed to go home.

Just two days later, on Tuesday, the fever returned, so I took him back to Putrajaya, only to be dismissed by the outpatient nurse harshly. My son wasn't even given the chance to see the doctor after cueing for so long! So we took him to a private medical center, and he was diagnosed with HFM, something that the dr. suspected he contracted while in Putrajaya hospital. So I stayed for another week at home, since he needed to be quarantined. There went all my annual leaves for the year.

Eversince that incident, everytime he had a fever, I would be on emergency unpaid leave to take care of him, and because I am teaching, the leave affected my classes and my colleagues, who would have to replace me. By then, his fever was more frequent, about fortnightly.

There was once that I thought his fever was very mild, so I left him with my aunt and went off to work - and it also happened to be the day when my aunt decided that it was safe for her to leave my son with my Form 3 cousin, to go to IKEA. When I got back from work, having picked Irsyad up, I found my son alone with my cousin, and his temperature was very high. So I put him at the back of my car, and asked Irsyad to sit with him. After driving a few minutes, I asked Irsyad what his brother was doing since he was very quiet, and Irsyad answered that his brother was looking at him. I quickly turned my head and saw that Naufal's eyes were rolled up and his body was shaking - another fits. I freaked out, stopped my car by the road side, took the bottle of water I had in the car and wet his head with the bottle. Then in panic, I just hugged him until the fits ended.

I was so affected by the incident, and I was sad at the same time. My aunt, whom I trusted so much, had the heart to leave my son when he was having a fever. And I hated myself for rushing to work, to attend to my students, when I knew Naufal was having a fever, even before I left for work. Then, my aunt suggested that perhaps, Naufal couldn't take the travelling, and asked me to send him back to my sister's maid. I did that, but the first week she took care of him, he had pus coming out of his ears again. Then followed by the fever. And the PCM can't help my son anymore. It can only control my son's temperature for two hours, and the Dr said my son is already immuned to antibiotics. My son was given ponstan and scott's emulsion. The dr. asked me to help nourish my son and rebuild his antibody.

My immediate reaction was to take one month unpaid leave. For one whole month my son didn't have a fever. Then I got broke. Dear hubby couldn't help much, he had already taken care of rental and other household expenses, and I got quite an amount of bank liabilities due to my misadventure in property investment when I was younger, that I need to take care of monthly. So I got back to work, and my son started to have fever again.

Lately he develops fever almost every week. I feel guilty to skip working so frequently, but I don't trust anyone else anymore to take care of him when he is sick. So I am toying with the idea to be a SAHM, or WAHM but I don't have the courage yet. Even my one-month unpaid leave was a secret I kept only with my hubby, I didn't let my elder son knew about it coz I was afraid he might tell others in my family. I am sure my mom and my sisters will freak out if they know that I plan to quit and be a full-time mom, or even work on part-time basis as a unit trust consultant. And I won't blame them, coz DH has th history of being very irresponsible, and they were the ones who rescued me with my elder son in those difficult moments.

I am in a very difficult position, and that's why I am here today, looking for your advice and support. I just want to make sure both my sons grow to be righteous, and healthy.